I decided to do something a little crazy. I’ve been toying with these thoughts for a while now, and I usually talk myself out of it. I have this ability to tell myself to shut up and leave things be, let them stay how they are. But recently, I haven’t been able to talk myself out of anything, so here’s what you’re going to get.
One Hundred Breaths Later is a short collection of poetic style memoirs and thoughts, taken straight from the journals they came from. They will be shared in the style they were written, raw and unrefined. I for one, feel like having these thoughts edited or certain lines “cut” takes away from their purpose. No, I don’t think every line is a perfect product of prose, but I do think that toying with these thoughts will only make them hard to understand. (Harder than they already are.) The only thing I’ve changed about them, is that some of the thoughts from two separate journal entries have been merged to one page, and I’ve added titles. Most of the words and thoughts written were untitled, with just a date given. Sometimes when I read February 7th, 2007, I wonder what was going on in my head. A few of the “blurbs” have been titled solely by their dates, but the majority of them have been changed.
So why now? I really don’t know. I’ve had these journals in a Rubbermaid tote box since Ross and I moved in together. They’ve just sat there, taunting me, for years. When I did sift through them, I wondered if any of my thoughts, or my encounters with life’s curve balls, could help anyone else. And although I don’t expect anyone to really take anything away from this, at least I’m doing these thoughts a favor, by giving them away.
I know that it’s easy for people who don’t understand what you’re doing to judge, or question, or wonder about things, but all I ask is that you go easy on me. These are my truest of wounds, exposed for everyone to see. It is very easy for us as humans, to pick apart the things we don’t understand, rather than trying to see them from another view. Even if you think this collection is the biggest pile of word crap you’ve ever read, please remember the old phrase that one man’s trash, is another man’s treasure.
This is vastly different than anything I have ever shared, and I’m terrified. I’m terrified because I feel like you are going to see a side of me that I’ve always kept private, but in the same light, sometimes exposing our flaws and our shadows give other people understanding and light. I am not proud of what some of these thoughts are a product of, but I am proud of the fact that I have grown, significantly, in the last twelve years.
I am currently accepting ARC requests for this short collection of whatever you want to call these. Poems? Inspirational thoughts? I really don’t know how to classify this, but you can jump over to my ARCs page to fill out a request form. More information will be heading your way in the very near future.
So maybe it’s not really crazy. Maybe for you, this seems like a “no big deal” type thing, and that’s okay. For me, it’s crazy, and a lot unnerving, but I refuse to a life where I’m constantly doing things because they’re safe and acceptable. I want to taste life as many times as I can, even if it’s sometimes sour.
Cheers. I love you all.